Orgasm Gap

A Gap? You Thought "The Gap" Was Just About Wealth?

No, dear readers, there are multiple gaps in this world—and unfortunately, one of them exists in our bedrooms.

The orgasm gap puts sex in a state of inequality, where men are the winners, and women are the losers. Research shows that 95% of men regularly reach orgasm during sex, while for women, this number drops to only 65%. That’s what we call the orgasm gap.

But when we pleasure ourselves, a staggering 92% of women do reach orgasm. So where does this gap come from?

 

The Real Path to Orgasm

When women were asked, "What’s the most reliable way to orgasm?", only 4% answered penetration. The remaining 96% all said clitoral stimulation. But if we look at vaginal anatomy, the clitoris is simply not positioned in a way that makes orgasm through penetration likely.

Yet, in our culture, the words “sex” and “penetration” are still treated as if they’re the same thing. The classic script for sex in 2023 (and beyond) still looks like this for many people:

1️⃣ Foreplay to get the woman wet for penetration
2️⃣ Penetration
3️⃣ Man orgasms
4️⃣ Sex is over

As long as a man lasts long enough and thrusts hard enough, he believes he can "give" a woman an orgasm. That’s why making a woman climax is often seen as a manly achievement.

Hope Is Near

Luckily, this outdated view of sex—which fuels the orgasm gap—is slowly changing. Through education, we’re breaking the myth that women are biologically limited in their ability to orgasm. Increased awareness about clitoral stimulation is also making a difference.

However, on a personal level, knowledge alone isn’t enough to close the orgasm gap. Studies show that too many women don’t fully know what they enjoy sexually—and when they do, they aren’t communicating it enough with their partners.

So What’s the Solution?

Women need to be encouraged to masturbate, experiment, and learn.

During masturbation, you can take your time—there’s no pressure, and if you don’t orgasm, no one is judging you. Simply put, we need more solo practice to discover what truly feels good.

Tear up the old script—foreplay, penetration, and then sex is over. Instead, try taking turns to orgasm. Your partner could start by manually or orally stimulating your clitoris until you climax before moving on to penetration. Or you could stimulate your own clitoris during penetration—whether with your hands or a vibrator.

Fun fact: Women who use vibrators orgasm more often. Did you know that?

Closing the Gap = More Than Just Better Sex

Bridging the orgasm gap isn’t just about better orgasms—it’s about confidence. Studies show that women who advocate for their pleasure in bed also feel more empowered in other areas of life.

So… What’s Next?

Do you struggle to reach orgasm? Or do you climax but want to experience it more intensely? It’s not your fault. Genetics, physiology, and societal conditioning have worked against us for too long.

Society’s attitude toward women’s pleasure still has a long way to go. But that doesn’t mean we can’t break through these barriers.

The good news? Masturbation is the key to unlocking your full pleasure potential. You’ll stop overthinking and start focusing solely on physical sensations. It won’t happen overnight, and the more pressure you put on yourself, the harder it becomes.

Think of it as a journey—an exploration of your pleasure.

And in the end, you’ll know your body inside and out, experiencing the earth-shattering orgasms you deserve.