Readers... I Love My Clitoris
It is elegant and deceptively well-hidden, but it brings me joy more often than pizza. Clitorises are generally fantastic, and if you're lucky enough to have one, I hope you take the time to tell yours how much you love it.
After reading this chapter, you'll have learned several clitoral stimulation techniques—for both masturbation and sex with your partner.
Stroke Your Clitoris
Why make things complicated when they can be simple? Really, for most women, simply stroking the clitoris is enough to reach orgasm. There are many ways to do this: up and down, left to right, or at a particular angle… However, there are two key things to keep in mind.
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Lubrication – To enjoy rather than endure pain, it’s important to use lubrication on your fingers or hand. You can press your finger lightly into your vagina to use your natural lubrication or keep a bottle of lubricant on your nightstand.
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Experiment & Learn – It’s up to you to discover what feels best. Do you enjoy direct contact between your finger and clitoris, or do you prefer stimulation through the clitoral hood? Do you like slow or fast movements? How much pressure feels just right?
These are all questions you can only answer by experimenting. Listen to your body and remember what feels best so you can experience even more intense orgasms.
The "On Button"
A widely used clitoral stimulation technique is the so-called "On Button" movement. Gently circle your finger around your clitoris and then swipe directly over it.
This motion resembles the symbol on a remote control. The circular movement followed by direct contact is an excellent way to heighten sensation. Play around with speed and pressure to find what brings you the most pleasure.
The S.O.S. Signal
The international S.O.S. signal in Morse code consists of three short pulses, followed by three long ones, and then three short pulses again. This is exactly the pattern of this clitoral stimulation technique.
- Start with three short strokes over your clitoris.
- Then, make three long strokes along your inner labia down to your vaginal opening.
- Finally, repeat the first step with three short strokes over your clitoris again.
This way, you stimulate both your clitoris and vaginal opening simultaneously, which can lead to an intense climax for many women. This technique is also a great way to warm up before penetration, so it might be a good one to share with your partner.
Grinding
A technique that can be practiced both alone and with a partner. Place a pillow or blanket between your legs and grind against it. For many women, this was how they experienced their first orgasm. As a tip, try out different fabrics and textures to discover what provides the best stimulation for you.
Your partner can also be involved in this technique. If you're lying in bed together, let your partner slide a leg between yours and press your vulva against it. Grind against their leg and control the intensity yourself. There are multiple ways to grind against your partner—experiment and choose what feels best for you.
Getting Started with Your Partner
All of the above techniques are designed to help you understand your own body. Only when you know yourself can you expect someone else to bring you pleasure. Communicate with each other—what do you need? What actions should they take?
When you're in sync, sex becomes better and better, leading to more intense orgasms.
Important: During clitoral stimulation during sex, the pressure your partner applies is crucial. Keep this in mind when changing positions.
Grinding During Penetration
It’s 2023, and if you haven’t already told him, now’s the time: sex is more than just penetration. He should start putting in more effort for you! In addition to penetration, your partner should also grind properly.
There are many variations in different positions, but missionary is the easiest for grinding. Here are some variations:
- Thrusting In & Out – Your partner presses their pubic bone against your clitoris and, as they thrust, they rub up and down.
- Side to Side – Your partner penetrates as deeply as possible while grinding their pubic bone from left to right over your clitoris.
- Circular Movements – Again, with deep penetration, your partner moves their pubic bone in circular motions over your clitoris, stimulating both your clitoris and vaginal walls.
Experiment and see what feels best for you.
Using Toys for Extra Stimulation
Not every position allows for clitoral grinding. If you still want clitoral stimulation in positions like doggy-style, you’ll need to get creative.
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The easiest method is to use your fingers to stimulate yourself while your partner penetrates you. After all, you know best how your body responds. If you've already communicated your preferences to your partner, they can use their magic fingers too.
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Lastly, you can use a vibrator. While many people still see a vibrator as taboo during sex, put that mindset aside and think rationally. If a vibrator helps you climax, why wouldn’t you use it?
Orgasms Are Not Math
You’ve now learned several clitoral stimulation techniques. I’d say—start experimenting tonight! As mentioned earlier, sex is not math. These techniques are not strict formulas; they are meant to be learned and adapted to what feels best for you.
Enjoy! 🎉